The Truth About Black Women Friendships: I'm Ready to Heal

I’ve been wrestling with something heavy. Something personal. And I need to say it out loud:

I love Black women deeply, but lately, I’ve found myself struggling to trust in the sanctity of our friendships.

It’s not because I don’t believe in sisterhood. I want to. I’ve built a life, a brand, and a movement around the power of connection and community. But what happens when that very community starts to feel like a battlefield? What happens when sisterhood becomes something you hope for but rarely experience in full?

Too often, I’ve opened my heart only to be met with silent competition, unspoken comparisons, and conversations that leave me questioning who I'm and whether I’m safe in this environment. 

And I’m tired.

I am tired of performative/ competitive sisterhood!

Tired of feeling like I have to shrink in rooms where I should shine. Tired of making myself small to avoid triggering someone else’s insecurity. Tired of “sisterhood” being a buzzword instead of a lived value.

This isn’t a post about blame. This is a post about healing. Because Black Girl Breathe taught me that before I can wear my crown with confidence, I have to be in tune with my core. And right now, my core is saying: I’m hurt, but I’m ready.

I'm ready to adjust my crown!

I'm ready to acknowledge that I carry wounds. Wounds that make it hard to believe that true, nurturing friendships between Black women are possible.

I'm ready to talk about it in therapy, not just for me, but for the version of me that still believes in the magic of Black sisterhood. I want to name it, not bury it.

And while I don’t fully know what step three looks like, I know this: At 49, I’m not hiding anymore. Not behind the computer screen. Not behind the turned-off camera. Not behind the silence. I want friendships that will journey with me into the second half of my life, friendships rooted in love, not performance.

I’m ready to be vulnerable again. I’m ready to be whole, even if I have to rebuild my definition of sisterhood from the ground up. I’m ready to let go of the narratives that have kept me guarded. Because my story, our stories are more than a single story of betrayal or disappointment.

And maybe this is what healing looks like: A Black woman telling her truth. Breathing deeply. Standing boldly. Choosing to live, love, and believe again.

I'm ready to build the kind of sisterhood that doesn’t just sound good but feels good.

The kind that doesn’t hurt.

I'm ready. Are you?

FREE Journal Prompt:

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